Fidel QuintanillaAMFT · Therapy for high achievers, burnout & men's mental health
Online therapist in California for high achievers: burnout, anxiety, relationships, and the gap between looking fine and feeling fine.
Is this you?
Most of the people I work with are very good at their jobs.
Doctors. Attorneys. Engineers. Students carrying a full course load and a job. People who can run a team, a case, an operating room, and then come home with no idea what to do with a feeling that won't resolve on a deadline.
The skills that make you successful (control, performance, output) are often the exact skills keeping you stuck everywhere else. You can't optimize your way out of a hard conversation. You can't sprint through grief.
I'm direct, and I work in the present. I'm less interested in excavating your childhood for ten years than in catching the pattern you're running right now, and what your values tell you to do about it.
I am always going to push you to feel your thoughts, your sensations and your memories. That's where the data is.
Let's get back to the basics. I say that a lot. When your head is running the whole show, we come back to breath, body, and the next honest move.
And yeah, sometimes we'll laugh. The work is serious. You don't have to be grim about it.
The goal isn't to perform a better life. It's to actually live in the one you've built.
What the work can feel like.
Structured, without being stiff. We name the pattern, look at what it's costing you, and pick one committed action for this season. Then we see what happens when you do it.
A lot of it is learning to spot the tell: the extra hour at the office, the "but" after every compliment, the yes you give your family before you've checked with yourself. Each one is data. None of it is a character flaw.
It lands in the body, too. People leave with a little more room in the chest than they walked in with, usually because they finally said the honest thing out loud.
Your values set the direction. Your life is not a group project.
How I work.
I use several approaches, matched to the problem in front of us. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) to catch the loops and interrupt them. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) for values and committed action, which means doing what matters while the anxiety is still in the room. I'm EMDR-trained, for what's stored deeper than words. Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for the patterns that show up with partners and dates. Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) for OCD. Motivational Interviewing for when part of you wants the change and part of you doesn't. A Bowen family systems lens for family pressure, and somatic work for what the body is holding. Mindfulness runs underneath all of it. For why working in the present changes things over time, see Why Therapy Works.
What I help with.
The themes that come up most in my work. Each links to more on how Align approaches it:
At Align I co-lead four of these: anxiety (with Danielle Miller), depression (with Molly Binenfeld), trauma (with Julia Melvin) and burnout (with Jasmeet Bhullar).
I also write Field Notes, including The busy you're using to not feel, The but that cancels the win, The you your family hasn't met yet and The one who never comes first.
Who I work with.
High achievers in high-pressure careers: doctors, attorneys, executives, engineers. College students and young adults who are already running at that pace. Men who were never given much language for the inside of their lives. Latino and first-generation clients working out how culture, family and expectation fit with what they want. Modern daters trying to make sense of connection. Individual, couples and family therapy.
Training & credentials.
- Associate Marriage and Family Therapist, California BBS #125756 — supervised by Jasmeet Bhullar, LMFT #117019
- Adjunct Faculty, Pepperdine University — teaching at the Master's level for more than five years
- Previously Assistant Program Director for the treatment of Families, Couples, OCD and Depression, Psychological Care and Healing Center, a Los Angeles treatment center providing partial hospitalization, intensive outpatient and residential care. Caseload included C-suite executives at Fortune 500 companies and public figures. Also the center's Program Director for the Transitional Living Program and a Group Therapist.
- Member, International OCD Foundation (IOCDF) · Member, California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists (CAMFT)
- EMDR-trained; also practices ACT, CBT, EFT and ERP
- Master's in Clinical Psychology with an emphasis in Marriage and Family Therapy, Pepperdine University — the shared graduate program of every Align clinician
- Bachelor's degree, California State University, Los Angeles
Logistics.
Sessions are held entirely online, on a secure platform, anywhere in California. Availability is flexible: Sunday through Saturday, mornings, afternoons, and evenings. The regular rate is $200 per individual session and $250 per couples session, with a limited number of reduced-fee slots and out-of-network reimbursement available. Start with a free 15-minute consultation.
Questions about working with Fidel, answered.
Why do the skills that built my career make therapy harder?
Because they're good skills pointed at the wrong problem. Control, planning and output work beautifully on a project. Pointed at a feeling, they turn into avoidance with a good work ethic.
We don't throw those skills out. We find where they help and where they've been running the show. That's usually the first useful thing we find.
How is therapy with Fidel different from therapy I've tried before?
It's practical, and it stays in the present. Instead of narrating the past for years, we work on what you're doing now, name what your values point to, and you leave each session with something concrete to try.
If you're skeptical, good. I set goals early, explain why we're doing what we're doing, and tell you if something isn't working.
Does Fidel offer therapy in Spanish?
Yes. Sessions are available in English or Spanish, online anywhere in California.
Does Fidel work with executives and other high-pressure professionals?
Yes, and I co-lead burnout work at Align with Jasmeet Bhullar. Before Align, my caseload at an intensive treatment center in Los Angeles included C-suite executives at Fortune 500 companies and public figures.
Performing well and burning out happen at the same time all the time. We look at what the pace is costing you, then pick one change you can hold for this season.
Does Fidel work with OCD?
Yes. I'm a member of the International OCD Foundation (IOCDF), and I use Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) alongside ACT. Before Align, OCD was one of the four treatment units I helped lead. At Align, Danielle Miller and Jasmeet Bhullar lead our OCD work, and I work alongside them.
What does a first session with Fidel look like?
We get clear on what brought you in. You don't need it figured out. One pattern you want to work on is enough. I'll ask what you've tried and what you want to be different, and by the end we'll have a first place to focus.