Elaina EnviaAMFT · Therapy for dating, relationships & self-worth
Online therapist in California for single and dating adults in their 20s and 30s, and the couples they become: self-worth, relationships, and finding your voice.
Is this you?
I'll be honest with you, because I think that's what actually helps.
A lot of the people I work with can advocate for everyone in their life except one person. Themselves.
They'll tell me what their friend should text back, what their sister deserves, what their coworker should ask for — and then go quiet about what they want.
So I ask the slightly annoying question: is that really what you want for yourself? Or is it just what you've been told to want?
We'll laugh, I'll probably share a little too much, and I'll gently call you on the things you already know but haven't said out loud.
Dating, breakups, the situationship that's quietly wrecking you — none of it is too small to bring in.
You're allowed to want more — and to believe you'd deserve it if you got it.
What the work can feel like.
Honest, a little funny, and never stiff. We'll talk about the real texts, the actual dates, the fight you had on Sunday. The small stuff is where the pattern shows up.
Much of the work is the friend test. If your best friend described this exact relationship to you, you'd know what to tell them. So we practice giving yourself the same honest read.
Some of it is attachment: why someone who runs hot and cold can feel more compelling than someone who's steady. That's not a character flaw. Unpredictable rewards are one of the stickiest patterns there is, and my early training was in behavioral work, so they're familiar ground.
It shows up in the body, too. I taught Pilates before and during my clinical training, and I'll notice when stress is living in your shoulders long before you're ready to admit it's there.
How I work.
It starts person-centered and compassion-focused: you're the expert on your life, and nobody gets braver by being harsher with themselves. From there I use solution-focused tools so you leave each session with something you can use this week, CBT to catch and challenge the harsh self-talk, and attachment and psychodynamic work to understand the patterns you keep repeating. Somatic work keeps us honest about what your body is doing. With couples, I draw on Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), and with family patterns, a Bowen family systems lens. The goal is getting people to say the real thing instead of the rehearsed version. For more on why this kind of work changes things over time, see Why Therapy Works.
What I help with.
The themes that come up most in my work. Each links to more on how Align approaches it:
At Align I co-lead four of these: relationship anxiety, life transitions and loneliness with Julia Melvin, and people-pleasing with Marjolaine Bernstein.
I've also written Field Notes on these patterns, including The situationship and The version of you that goes home for the holidays.
Who I work with.
Single and dating adults in their 20s and 30s, of any gender, working on self-worth and learning to speak up for themselves. Couples, too, including partners stuck in a critic-and-defendant loop. Individual, couples and family therapy.
Training & credentials.
- Associate Marriage and Family Therapist, California BBS #149268 — supervised by Jasmeet Bhullar, LMFT #117019
- Previously Therapist, Claris Health, West Los Angeles
- Previously Social Worker, New Dimensions FFA, a foster family agency, with direct experience of attachment disruption
- Previously Registered Behavior Technician (RBT), Butterfly Effects
- Certified Pilates Instructor, Equinox
- Member, California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists (CAMFT)
- Master's in Clinical Psychology with an emphasis in Marriage and Family Therapy, Pepperdine University — the shared graduate program of every Align clinician
- Bachelor's degree, University of San Francisco
Logistics.
Sessions are held entirely online, on a secure platform, anywhere in California. Availability is flexible: Sunday through Saturday, mornings, afternoons, and evenings. The regular rate is $200 per individual session and $250 per couples session, with a limited number of reduced-fee slots and out-of-network reimbursement available. Start with a free 15-minute consultation.
Questions about working with Elaina, answered.
Who does Elaina work best with?
People who are dating or newly partnered, and couples. I also see a lot of men in long-term relationships where criticism has quietly become the background noise, and who aren't sure anymore whether they're still themselves in it.
Can Elaina help if I'm not in a relationship right now?
Yes. A lot of my work is with people who are single or dating: building self-worth, getting through breakups and situationships, and figuring out what you want before the next relationship, not during it.
Does Elaina see couples?
Yes. Couples often come in when one partner has become the critic and the other the defendant, or when the Type A and Type B combination that used to be charming has started to grate. The work is helping both people say what they mean without turning it into a trial.
What's Elaina's style like?
Warm, direct, and a little funny. I'd rather tell you what I'm noticing than nod along, and I'll share from my own life when it helps. Therapy with me isn't stiff.
What does a first session with Elaina look like?
We talk about what brought you in, and you'll get a feel pretty quickly for whether we click. You don't need to have it organized first. Bring the screenshot if it helps.
How will I know if therapy with Elaina is helping?
Often it's a need you voice without over-explaining, a text you send without drafting it five times, or an inner critic that's gotten quieter. I won't promise a timeline, but we'll name what we're working toward early on.